Bloody Animes
Watching My Bloody Valentine In 3D
I admit that I’ve got a history with the original My Bloody Valentine released in 1981. I must have studied it at least half a dozen times on HBO as I was making the boyhood journey thru adolesence with the help of Cable TV. Even as a kid I assumed it was pretty damned mad. I’m a little stunned that I actually brought myself to see the remake.
On top of pretty much thinking the original was trash I’m also on a private hate affair with 3-D films at this time. I discovered that the 3-D version of Bolt I witnessed last year was annoying as hell. Still, I’ve been kind of half hoping I would get to see another good 3-D film : the “good” applying to the 3-D instead of the film, but ideally both.
The acting borders on horrible from some of the young leads. The plot is pretty cardboard slasher though it gets credit for attempting to throw a murder puzzle component into the mix. However, it is with hat in hand that I need to admit, I had fun in this movie.
It looks great and does exactly what it’s meant to do for this flick. And in contrast to Bolt, it was easy on the eyes and I had no lifeless pulsing headache walking out of the theater. Just as gorgeous is the awesome depth demonstrated in several scenes when things aren’t flying out of the screen at you. There are a few shots where the depth is just astounding. Well done to the 3-D effects team.
The other stuff done well with My Bloody Valentine 3-D are the refreshingly good make up and digital effects. I’m a picture effects “tweener” to be honest. I grew up with model-work, stop and go motion animation, and matte paintings but came of age in the youth of digital. Now we are in a film industry where the footage that is shot is just a canvas for the effects artists. This is my long-winded way of informing you that well over half the the time I won’t tell you whether a visible effect is real or digital in a movie unless I research it first. I am able to tell you the gore effects here are pretty damned good.
Let’s get to the gore, then, shall we. After the first wave of slasher films in the late 1970 and early 1980s slasher flicks lost their testicles. Thanks to the MPAA, the drive to bring the idiom into mainstream profits drove many years of grisly slasher films with nearly no good gore.
THIS is what a slasher flick should be. Violence that you spend half the movie cringing and the other half guffawing. For all those wasted hours watching horror flicks that will have been worthwhile if key shots had been permitted to go on for an extra 2-5 seconds, we get the products in this movie.
In addition, we get all the stupid horror film staples done to perfection. Gratuitous sex and nakedness, cheesy one liners in inappropriate circumstances, and cheap phony false scares.
If there’s any real bummer about the flick it’s that it actually makes a half-assed effort to build up a cut-rate murder poser that they play to the end, and in the middle of doing that, things actually start slowing down toward the second twelve the second act. As Morgan Freemen asserts in Shawshank Redemption, you either need to get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’ and there is way too long of a stretch in the middle of the film where folk are too busy livin’. But that is O.K, there actually is enough destruction, it just could have been paced a tad better.
My Bloody Valentine 3D Glasses
About the Author
Joe Boseman is a author in for 3D Glasses Insider
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